Back Breaking work...
it is often said that the therapist has the ultimate pleasure of 'holding' all the trauma's and narratives from the individuals who courageously leave them on their couches... well i have finally figured out where the therapist 'houses' these stories and painful memories of their clients...squarely on their backs. how do you ask did i come to this revelation?
well...it all began with a throbbing sensation on my lower back region. i ignored it. as i do all important things involving my body in order to persue the higher power of crisis work and my own pretention at being able to 'fix' every maltreated youth to wander into my office. until one fine sunday...playing a harmless game of disk golf... i bent down and heard my back make an unsual sound. from that moment on i was incapacitated..no actually it grew to incapacitation through a fitfull sleepless night in which i cried out in the dark "please, please, make this all go away!"
now as i lay on my floor typing slowly into my keyboard i am struck by how much the stress i carry around can actually PHYSICALLY affect me. maltreatment appears to have an endless trajectory... like a disease it affects all who come into contact with it. does this all come down to a back you ask? well no. a therapist friend of mine (in her 30s) recently had a stroke in her bed at home. she is slowly recovering - but it struck me even before this 'back thing' that being a therapist is ACTUALLY harmfull to your health... maltreatment and trauma ACTUALLY inflict all who come into contact with it...the therapist is not immune.
now, after HOURS of acupuncture and herbal medication (perscribed by my very own naturopathic genius) i am beingning to feel non-painful movement return. i am being told to "relax" not move and frankly...this is driving me CRAZY - as crisis continues to happen and my manager calls me 2 to 3X a day - i realize that i have no time to relax - i must return to my house of disadvantaged, maltreated, maladjusted, and neuro-developmentally unstable youth ('back to the saltmines'..pun intended).
In my next few hours of being on this floor I will ponder whether this makes me a martyr or a masochist...i will wonder if there really is a difference....? i believe, my friends, that there is not.
but most of all I will regret not having a couch in my office...i now understand why Freud had one... forget the clients - every once in awhile a therpist needs to rest the site at which the trauma is kept - and then get "back" to work.
well...it all began with a throbbing sensation on my lower back region. i ignored it. as i do all important things involving my body in order to persue the higher power of crisis work and my own pretention at being able to 'fix' every maltreated youth to wander into my office. until one fine sunday...playing a harmless game of disk golf... i bent down and heard my back make an unsual sound. from that moment on i was incapacitated..no actually it grew to incapacitation through a fitfull sleepless night in which i cried out in the dark "please, please, make this all go away!"
now as i lay on my floor typing slowly into my keyboard i am struck by how much the stress i carry around can actually PHYSICALLY affect me. maltreatment appears to have an endless trajectory... like a disease it affects all who come into contact with it. does this all come down to a back you ask? well no. a therapist friend of mine (in her 30s) recently had a stroke in her bed at home. she is slowly recovering - but it struck me even before this 'back thing' that being a therapist is ACTUALLY harmfull to your health... maltreatment and trauma ACTUALLY inflict all who come into contact with it...the therapist is not immune.
now, after HOURS of acupuncture and herbal medication (perscribed by my very own naturopathic genius) i am beingning to feel non-painful movement return. i am being told to "relax" not move and frankly...this is driving me CRAZY - as crisis continues to happen and my manager calls me 2 to 3X a day - i realize that i have no time to relax - i must return to my house of disadvantaged, maltreated, maladjusted, and neuro-developmentally unstable youth ('back to the saltmines'..pun intended).
In my next few hours of being on this floor I will ponder whether this makes me a martyr or a masochist...i will wonder if there really is a difference....? i believe, my friends, that there is not.
but most of all I will regret not having a couch in my office...i now understand why Freud had one... forget the clients - every once in awhile a therpist needs to rest the site at which the trauma is kept - and then get "back" to work.
posted by blogging it out at 1:26 PM
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